A Playwright Answers the Questions Nobody Else Will
Some interviews are about the work. This one is about everything else. Playwright and Tawk Broadway Outsider columnist Scott Brooks joins Stephanie for a conversation that ricochets from smoking and writer aesthetics to baby wipes for adults, Curious George, TikTok doctors, diner breakfasts, and why Iggy Pop looks like... well, Iggy Pop.
STEPHANIE: I’ve noticed that smoking has become a thing again. More specifically, it’s become a thing among writers. And I have to admit, it pisses me off because it doesn’t feel like people are smoking for smoking’s sake. It feels like they’re chasing this Didion-esque aesthetic. For so many people, writing seems to be more of an aesthetic than an actual passion. I can’t wait until the next aesthetic is, like... needlepoint, and these people fucking drop the act. I smoked as a teenager and in college. I forget, did you too? Restaurant industry, playwright... I’d imagine so. What do you think? Is smoking part of the whole schtick as a writer?
SCOTT: Wasn’t needlepoint an aesthetic for a minute there? I used to see the occasional college-age girl pull out some needlepoint on the subway – or maybe it was crochet. Is there a difference? It sends such a strong message also; “I’m here to fuck, boys. Think you can handle this jelly?” I remember trying to smoke and write and the same time in college when we try everything. I would let the cigarette dangle out of the corner of my mouth but the smoke always went into my eye. I don’t know how the newspapermen in days of old did it. But yeah, it seems like suddenly people are smoking ciggy butts again and I am fine with it. It’s like reclaiming part of the recent past. I don’t think there’s a connection between writing and smoking though. The only writer aesthetic I can think of is lingering in a coffee shop with an open lap top and a watery cold brew.
STEPHANIE: Where’s the most ordinary or mundane place or moment where inspiration struck? I was carrying an enormous rug down to the laundry room recently and I thought “Oh, yeah. I need to add writing an upstairs/downstairs story to my bucket list.” And I got so jazzed about it!
SCOTT: I get all my writing prompts drunk on the subway. Also, I collect overheard or thought of bits of lines and sentences. A recent one was, “She was spread out on the blanket like a room temperature brie.”
STEPHANIE: I have babies. You have another baby now. So, let me ask you this. For us adults, is toilet paper honestly enough? Should we also be wiping our asses with baby wipes?
SCOTT: I sneak some wipes in with me these days.
STEPHANIE: You and I are fairly left of center politically. I’ve decided to give up the ghost on some issues though. I’ll just say it, “the environment” isn’t at the top of my list. It’s not even like the top 30. I mean - I’d never litter. I think people who throw like Big Mac wrappers out of their windows should be flame broiled. But, I’m not recycling. I’m certainly not drinking out of a paper straw. I throw away plastic tupperwares to avoid cleaning them. Fuck it. What’s something we’re supposed to care about that you just dont?
SCOTT: Don’t even get me started. Our building composts now! Dafuq? Is anything even garbage anymore? I’m supposed to walk food scraps downstairs and dump them into this bin? Don’t look for me down there. I had a friend tell me I was supposed to was out the peanut butter jar before I recycle it. I said to him, “You wash your trash now?” On principle I snuck it into the regular garbage.
STEPHANIE: Nobody chews gum anymore. Have you noticed? Theories? Thoughts?
SCOTT: I believe gum chewing is associated with loose women and gadabouts. Also, people don’t shop in stores nearly as much which is where you make that lazy, choice, “Maybe I’ll have me a chew,” and toss a pack of Hubba Bubba on the conveyor belt. Ya know what gets my goat? Those conveyor belts that don’t stop moving til my purchases get all the way down there to the very end and the little plastic bag that has my fucking mangoes in it almost gets sucked down inside. Speaking of goats, you know who else chews gum? People trying to hide a certain smells on their breath, which is your above smokers and drinkers. So yeah, it’s a bad look. And eventually ya gotta spit it out, but hey that’s show biz, kid.
STEPHANIE: How do you feel about medical professionals who make Tik Tok and Instagram videos? One of my specialist doctors has a Tik Tok and I’m like...man I used to respect you as a professional. You’re supposed to be on Mount Olympus with the other doctors who have god complexes. You know?
SCOTT: Anybody trying to be a celebrity anything is fucked. Doctor, or some lawyer who writes a best seller, or a chef trying to get a show on the Food Network (assuming that’s still a thing.) you lose a certain amount of credibility. That’s why I’ve tried so hard not to become a famous writer. It’s about the work, man.
STEPHANIE: My neighbor got onto the elevator the other day and she STUNK. Like, not only is she using some strong perfume from the 1940’s I think she dug up the lady who owned the bottle and keeps her around for company. In short, she smells like decaying perfume. I’m exceedingly polite to people, but every time I opened my mouth to speak I started choking. And she looked at me like...get it together. She made zero correlation. If it happens again, should I say something? Would you?
SCOTT: She’s trying to cover up that old lady smell with old lady perfume. That’s tough. You just have to hold your breath and hope your daughter doesn’t say something like, “Ew, it smells like old, busted cooch in here.”
STEPHANIE: Why do you think Iggy Pop looks like that?
SCOTT: I thought he was the inspiration for Lemony Snicket.
STEPHANIE: Are you a big breakfast guy? I can’t decide if I want to make smoothies for breakfast over the summer, do a protein shake, or just accept the fact that I’ll probably do neither. Do you want to do a diner breakfast soon?
SCOTT: I generally wait until late morning and have leftovers from the fridge for an early lunch. You can start the smoothie thing, we all do it in the warm weather, but let’s get down to it. It’s a lot of work and a lot of goddamn clean up. We have juicer and I am cleaning that thing for half a day for a fucking glass of grapefruit juice. Try it. Make that chia seed shit you put in the fridge the night before. See how many times you do that before you say, fuck it. Yes to diner breakfast! Found a place near City Center with perfect corned beef hash.
STEPHANIE: Curious George isn’t, how you say, en vogue anymore. What’s one mystery that you really wish he’d get to the bottom of?
SCOTT: Curious George got himself cancelled. It wasn’t until I had a kid of my own that I realized the first book was a metaphor for the slave trade. Way to harsh my bed-time mellow. What if George was the second gunman on the grassy knoll? I see the man in the yellow hat chasing him around Dealey Plaza.
