Kris alberts’ Latest Discovery? Herself.

You'd think that by adulthood, you'd have yourself pretty much figured out. Singer-songwriter Kris Alberts discovered otherwise. One unexpected crush, a few existential questions, and five years after her last release, she's back with a song called “Bucket List.”

After five years without a release, a singer-songwriter returns with “Bucket List,” a playful, deeply personal song about questioning, queer love, and discovering a new side of herself.

Interview by Tawk of New Yawk

STEPHANIE: When you first realized this was part of who you are, what did that feel like? Was it relief? Excitement? A sense of things finally clicking into place? We don't hear enough about those first private moments of coming out to yourself.

KRIS ALBERTS: I can definitely speak on the immediate feelings about coming out to myself, because coming out to the world truly still feels like it’s happening, and from my understanding, it’s never-ending. If I’m completely honest, I don’t know how much I love that phrase, but that’s a whole different conversation.

When I realized I first was crushing on a girl, all I remember feeling was excitement and wonder and giddiness. After having been through this very adult, life-shattering breakup experience, feeling these kindergarten-crush-like emotions was truly just what I needed.

It was new and sexy and fun and exciting and intriguing. That’s where “Bucket List” came from. I wasn’t even sure I trusted what I was feeling, but I loved it.

The very difficult part of it all, the “this can’t be happening,” came later. When I realized this was real, I couldn’t quite fit all of those feelings into a short answer. But I can say I am now the happiest I have ever been in love. :)

STEPHANIE: Has this discovery changed anything about your creative process? Have the things or people who inspire you changed, too?

KRIS ALBERTS: In terms of how I create, I don’t feel like it did. I always write from the heart and try to put my feelings to song in ways that tell my story but can be relatable to anyone listening.

Changing the subject wouldn’t change my process. At least it hasn’t thus far.

I will say that the need to create during those years when I was having these experiences felt almost dire. It was therapy. I was feeling so much, and it was impossible to contain, so I was writing nonstop.

It just so happens that most of the songs I wrote during that time can be interpreted in different ways. They don’t sound explicitly queer. This was never on purpose; it just happened to come out that way.

I think it just goes to show that—I’m sorry for the cliché—but LOVE IS LOVE. Pain is pain. We can relate in so many different ways, even if the exact experiences are different.

As an artist, what I’d want most is to find listeners who hear it and relate in whichever ways are truest to them.

STEPHANIE: Okay, so the song is called “Bucket List.” WHY?!

KRIS ALBERTS: I wrote “Bucket List” when I was only just starting to experience these new discoveries about myself, my identity, and queerness.

Before I was even sure if what I was feeling was real or just something new to check off a list because I could.

It was very much, “Do I just want to experience this once in my life? Or do I want this to be my life?”

Spoiler alert: very much real life.

I don’t think I’ve heard any songs that talk about that “questioning” stage. So that’s where the song and the title came from.

It’s definitely meant to capture both the humor and the intensity of it all.

STEPHANIE: Looking back, who was your earliest female celebrity crush that makes you think, “Oh yeah, that should've told me something”?

KRIS ALBERTS: Ok...I have not had a female celebrity crush.

I can lie and whip out Ruby Rose or something, but the girls that get it will get it when I say it was the boy banders I had crushes on that can explain the later-in-life queerness LOL.

But I won't name names.

STEPHANIE: What's one queer cliché you've fully embraced?

KRIS ALBERTS: Being absolutely obsessed with my gf, probably. But you know...healthy obsession.

STEPHANIE: Was there an artist or song that gave you permission to imagine yourself differently before you were ready to say it out loud?

KRIS ALBERTS: There were many!

While there is SO much work to be done and SO much more room for growth in acceptance, I am lucky about the representation that does exist.

So many of the pop girlies I love are either openly queer or loudly accepting and celebratory.

Also, I’m in musical theatre and...everyone is gay there LOL.

Being in that world and seeing what I saw was absolutely helpful. It doesn’t take away from any personal fears or readiness, but it certainly helps.

STEPHANIE: If “Bucket List” marks the beginning of a new chapter, what are you leaving behind in the old one?

KRIS ALBERTS: Any fear that I have to lose parts of my identity because I discovered something new about it.

Fear that being completely honest and vulnerable is a detriment to my artistry or career.

I mean...I’m still scared. But I just know inside I have to be loud about this.

STEPHANIE: What's the gayest thing on your bucket list?

KRIS ALBERTS: I think, like...all of my future plans in my personal life.

STEPHANIE: Does your girlfriend worry that every argument is potentially a new single?

KRIS ALBERTS: “That would be a boring song.” — her =D

STEPHANIE: What have you gained by bringing more of yourself into your music? Is there a difference between being honest in your writing and deciding what to share publicly?

KRIS ALBERTS: I’m still figuring it out.

I’m only just starting to share this part of my life, or even be like, HEY, THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT THIS SONG IS ABOUT.

This is my first release in five years. I was always quite open in my work, I think, if you listen closely enough.

And there is so much more to be put out, and I certainly hope it can make an impact.

Deciding how much I share in my writing is never about censoring any part of myself, but respecting what’s meant to be private.

There are things I have written that have provided such catharsis and therapy for me that will probably just stay with me.

But “Bucket List”...that’s a story I love to tell.

And I hope people have so much fun with it!